Future Barry Bonds Excuses

The Bonds news is nothing we weren't expecting. The funniest part is that Bonds will STILL try to claim innocence. Here are some things he could say in his defense:

• "I swear I thought that was just decaf coffee."
• "I'm just big boned."
• "The Giants was the team I was playing for, not refering to how huge I am."
• "Everyone rubs cream on themselves and don't know what it is."
• "People would just give me stuff and I'd take it, I didn't know what it was."
• "Mark did it first."
• "I still had to hit the ball."
• "Those weren't my pills."
• "It's because I'm black."
  

Maybe that brace he wore on his arm was a spring loaded power swinging mechanism. Barry, your toast. You obviously didn't read Game of Shadows. It's all in there. They got Marion Jones, your next buddy boy. Give Hank his record back!

Here's a little crazy sports clip to wake you from your boredom.