Friday, May 30, 2008

Hmm...Though Provoking

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there
is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up
every two hours?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the
Special Olympics?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as
cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would
be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why is Abbreviation such a long word?
Superman is bulletproof so why does he always duck when the villain
throws an empty gun at him?
Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll
squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna
eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the
toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get
undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs !

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?

Stop singing and read on.......

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The Undercover Dynasty

The San Antonio Spurs, despite ESPN's love affair with Chris Paul, defeat the Hornets to move onto the Western Conference Finals. The Spurs have won 4 NBA titles since 1999 but nobody seems to call them a dynasty. Why? I have a few reasons why. When they won their first in 1999, the Chicago Bulls dynasty had just wrapped up winning 6 titles in 8 years. Further, the Lakers would win 3 in a row after that 1999 season.

However, give credit where it is due. This team is consistent. Every final they have been in, they have won. Although Tim Duncan is a Hall of Famer, they lack a super duper star like most NBA Championship teams (Jordan, Shaq, Hakeem).

The Spurs, San Antonios only professional sports team, get lost way down there in south Texas. Yet, they are a true team. All their parts move together for one purpose.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Resurrecting the Champ Movie Review

Resurrecting the Champ stars Samuel L. Jackson and Josh Hartnett. The film is about a young reporter (Hartnett) looking for a story to kinda put his career on the map. When he meets a homeless self-proclaimed boxing legend, he runs with the story. Things take a turn when the identity of the homeless "Champ" is questioned.

My take
An interesting plot. Great actors, but fell somewhat short. I wasn't particularly impressed with Jackson's performance and the drama could have been milked a little more. I did like the lesson of the film, which was to bring focus to the father-son relationship. By no means one of the best boxing movies, but a nice rental watch.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Speed Racer - Crash and Burn

Despite it's estimated $180+ million budget, Speed Racer only managed to bring in $20.2 million this weekend. Ouch! Someone's gonna get brought into the office for a long talk.

Many critics claim the film abandoned it's audience by not bringing any of the elements from the japanese cartoon into the film. Further, critics say it's just a special effects show. What's wrong with that? Critics said Slyvester Stallone's Driven was bad, but I loved it. Sometimes, critics are just old dudes looking for something to complain about.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Breaking News

You heard it here first.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Bobblehead Giving Fans the Finger

The Pittsburgh Pirates had Tom Gorzelanny Bobblehead Night. However, Pirates fans were surprised when they were given a memento of Tom giving them the finger! Although the promotion photo that was used did not give them the finger (right) the one they were handed clearly does (left). Now we know these these kinds of things are massed produced in China. So, was this intentional? YES. But not by the Chinese. The Pirates owners have been screwing their fans for quite awhile now. Not one winning season in 16 years!